Where is your identity? What do you think of when you think “me”?
If you have to describe yourself, where do you start?
What would crush you the most if you were to lose it?
Most people define themselves by their “stuff”. In fact, I can scarcely name anyone I’ve met who isn’t the house, the car, the money, something. None of these people would admit that they are all about those things, but there can be no doubt that it is “for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.” (Luke 6:45). The stuff coming out of your mouth, the stuff your mind always leans towards talking about, is who you think you are. If you always talk about the Dallas Cowboys it’s because you don’t really have a life of your own; you live vicariously through them. You are a Cowboy’s fan. As such you can easily relate to other Cowboy’s fans. They are like you, and you belong to them because they share the same identity you do.
If you’re always talking about how good your grades are or what you know, it’s because you think of yourself as being smart. It’s who you are; not just a character attribute, but something that defines you to yourself, something that gives your existence value.
If you kiss your car goodnight and wash it twice a day, it’s because there is something wrong with your head; your car is more than what it should be, a tool to move you from point A to point B; it has become a living thing, a part of your psyche and very literally, part of you. If it gets scratched by a careless passerby, you flip out not because they scratched your car, but because they scratched YOU. The car is an extension of your ego.
Do you really think two retired people NEED a 10,000 square foot house with 12 bathrooms? Of course not; but after living in squalor in their childhood and hating the man who had more money and power than them, after feeling inferior for the bulk of their lives they feel GOOD about building a BIGGER house than the person they hated; it means they are a success. They have status to prove it.
These concepts expand to cover everything we get attached to; comic book collections, strength, knowledge of trivia, speed, boats, fishing and everything else. We literally lose ourselves in our jobs, our lives, and our hobbies, and forget that we even exist. In some ways, we no longer do; we literally become the job, the children, the model of the titanic made out of toothpicks. But that should never happen.
Luke 12:15 And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.
Every thing - every single one - I just mentioned is a violation of the tenth commandment. One of the lesser understood commandments. Those things are all based in covetousness; stuff that you have, and that you cling to far beyond its intrinsic value. And it isn’t limited to those who have a lot of nice things; bums living in cardboard boxes can be as possessive of their worthless scraps of clothing and cigarette butt collections as the most grasping scrooge around.
But what happens to us when those things we love so dearly are taken away? When the stock broker loses his millions and has to face adjusting to a lifestyle that half the population already has and another quarter WISHES they had, he can’t handle it and jumps out a window. He’d rather end his life than live it as a different person.
Because he wasn’t a person. He was a walking hundred dollar bill. And when that bill became worth twelve cents, there was nothing left of it worth saving in his mind. Athletes who start to fail, models who get ugly, anyone who loses the thing that defines themselves and gives them self-worth, face depression, nervous breakdowns, and some even drink or drug themselves to death. Why? What makes those worthless things so valuable to them that their lives are not worth living without it? Read the rest of this entry »